Last Minute Practise
by Lilith1631
Summary: Harry finds something odd in his boyfriend's flat...Crack!fic one-shot


**A/N: **Written to LLPW prompts: Dream catcher, morning breath, panda and lance

**Title: **Last Minute Practise

Draco was awoken by an arm that morning. Just like every morning. The bed shifted and the arm in question stretched over his hip, curled round his waist and pulling him across the mattress, into a firm chest. The hand that belonged to that sleep-interfering arm, pushed between his thighs to dig in its nails into the sensitive flesh of his balls. "Morning," laughed Harry, nuzzling into the side of Draco's neck. Something pressed into furrow between Draco's legs, and he let out an indignant squeak. "God, I'm sore. What a good night."

"Me too, so touché." Draco wiggled forward a bit, away from the cock that was trying to nudge its way between his cheeks. "Haven't you got work today?"

"…Maybe. Give me a kiss and I'll think about going to earn a buck."

"No, I've got morning breath! Potter, no, stop – Harry! Mmph!" Potter had too many muscles, that was his problem. He manhandled his way through life, taking whatever he wanted. Auror positions, the latest quidditch brooms and halitosis kisses. Shoving at the man's chest, Draco managed to break the lip lock and scowled into the smiling Gryffindor's face. "Go have a shower. Then I might be able to sleep without being molested."

Harry smiled, and Draco wanted to lick his molars. But not until he brushed his teeth.

"Are you sure I can't persuade you for another kiss?" begged Harry, his hand creeping to wrap around Draco's listless penis, stroking it the wretched appendage into some sort of life. All the while pressing kisses full of bite and tongue over Draco's jaw and around his lips.

Potter hauled his massive balk over Draco, pressing him into the mattress and taking what he wanted. _A Slytherin trait, to be sure_, thought Draco, kicking his heels into the back of the other man's legs as he tried to evade the warm hand that was tugging unceremoniously at him. It was a shame that being a stubborn, wilful, disobedient git was what made Potter so damn attractive. Not that Draco would tell the man.

"Are you going to come for me, Draco?" asked Potter, looming above and leaning down for another kiss. Draco shoved him. He had rules about sharing his mouth bacteria at seven in the morning. Stale breath and last night's cum crusted to his tonsils did not make exotic flavours. "Go shower!"

Harry held onto him for a moment longer, running is hands everywhere until white stickiness fell between their bodies and Draco bit down on a reluctant scream of pleasure.

Task completed, Potter finally complied, his bum wiggling nicely as he jogged out the door to the bathroom before Draco could inflict retribution with a dry orgasm. The sound of water started up immediately and Draco knew he'd be able to sleep for another twenty minutes before he'd have to get up, swell some mouthwash before he gave Harry his morning blowjob with bite marks.

Flipping onto his back, Draco looked at the dream catcher Potter had bought on their trip from Asia. It was all dark wood and red string, with black feathers dangling from the bottom. Draco didn't understand why Potter thought it was okay to install a dream catcher in his house; he'd only given the man a key two weeks ago. _Taking bloody liberties_. Also, it didn't fit in with the rest of the décor. _Bloody dream catchers with early fourteenth century architecture, pfft!_

As he drifted off to sleep, wondering how Potter managed to reach the ceiling to pin the ugly thing up, he felt a pair of lips press against his forehead and someone whisper, "good luck with the exam."

**

Harry dig into his pocket for the key to Draco's flat. Pent house. When he had received the key, Harry had gushed a little. Their relationship was going well.

Draco had stopped insulting his fashion sense, he'd given Harry a key to his apartment and they had just come back from their first holiday together. And most of all, Harry was now allowed to stay through the nights. All nights of the week. It had been a month since he'd even slept at Grimmauld Place. Life was going well so far, he loved it.

"Draco, I'm back! I think I pa –" Whatever he had tripped on was larger than a shoe casually shirked off at the door, or a potted plant.

Assessing the damage before hauling himself off the floor, Harry turned round to see what had obstructed his path into his boyfriend's arms.

"Oh." Harry looked at the panda and laughed. "I can imagine what you are doing here, eh, Splodge."

The panda gave a grunt and slapped its front paws on the hardwood floors. Harry took that to be a sarcastic retort, but all he could do was 'aww' over the bear. Unlike most pandas, the traditional black and white motif was traded in for white and grey pattern. Harry thought that this unusual discolouring was why Draco was so attracted to the animal when they'd seen it in a garden in China.

Hanging up his coat, Harry went towards the kitchen, knowing that he would be closely followed by the bear. "Hungry?" he asked.

Splodge gave a honk, closely accompanied by a sneeze that rocked the animal over onto its back.

"Is there any panda bodily function that isn't completely adorable?" asked Harry, opening the fridge. The panda scrunched up his eyes and Harry hastened to add, "wait, don't answer that, you'll leave a mess on the floors."

Harry dug deep into the fridge, rummaging into the vegetable drawer, and finally came up with half a cut cabbage. He looked at it doubtfully, but decided that it was worth a try. He held it out to Splodge. He'd only had to look after the animal a couple of times, and other than '_pandas are veggies, Potter'_, Harry didn't know much about caring for the creature. "Do you want a nice cabbage? Mmm, tasty!"

The grey ears twitched and black eyes speculated the vegetable, then promptly turned tail, its large white bum waddling out of the kitchen protest.

"Bugger you, then!" yelled Harry, throwing the cabbage back into fridge and deciding to let the bloody bear starve. He was going to make himself a sandwich. A _ham_ sandwich. _Fucking herbivores. _

**

"OH MY GOD, STOP THAT!" Harry had rounded the living room to see the white and grey nuisance chewing the wood handle of the decorative lance that had been mounted on the wall only this morning. Looking at the plaster that had been pulled off along with the brackets that mounted the weapon, the only thought that Harry could think of was '_Oh well. I never liked it anyway.' _

"That's not even bamboo! Hand it over, that'll give you heartburn."

Wrestling a pointy stick from a growling bear was never one of Harry's life goals, but if the stupid thing swallowed the spear-end, then it would be an awkward situation to explain at the vets why the silly animal managed to get hold of his boyfriend's bad décor. Also, it would be hard to explain a pet panda.

Splodge put up a good fight, holding on fast to the lance as Harry tried to tug it from his paws. Harry's next tactic was to tickle it out of the clawed grip, but his face got covered in foul-smelling slobber as he was muzzled to the point of suffocation. Then he remembered that he was a wizard, not to be outdone by inferior furred beings. Unfortunately, Splodge seemed to think Harry's wand a tastier treat than the lance, and promptly threw the spear away to launch itself in Harry's direction.

"ARGH! Down, boy!"

**

Harry thought he was genius. Tying the dream caster on a piece of string, he affixed it over the bed like a rattle in a bassinette and watched the panda bat at it like a kitten. A very large kitten. The covers were spun into a nest around the monochrome bulk, and Harry noted, that the panda was inclined to lie on its back and grab its feet wide, spreading its leg into impossible angles. Like Draco.

Grabbing a spare blanket, Harry headed to the sofa for a night and wondered when he would get to hold his boyfriend again.

**

"Mmmph, Potter, get off! Morning breath." Moaned Draco.

"You taste like bad breath and wood."

"Is that a euphemism?" Draco opened his eyes and looked at Harry. Then at the shredded bedding and low dangling dream catcher. "Bugger, I missed the exam again!"

"Well then stop practising while you're nervous and you won't get stuck in your animagus form. You might actually get to the exam then."

"Shut up."

**

**The End**


End file.
